Catharsis

Kings theatre reminded me of KOKO in London. So majestic, draping as if it was too good for itself. We watched The Smile today. Thom Yorke is sensational. The reason that I return to thought is this catharsis I felt whilst watching them. Under the soul penetrating strobes and pure rock and roll I became gobsmacked in disbelief. The sheer creative vomit of Jonny Greenwood made me question all preconceived notions of what it means to be a truly aware person. This motherfucker looks fifteen and rocks harder than anyone I’ve ever seen in my whole life. As I got ear fucked by naked creativity I realized something so tragic. There is no system of ultimate awareness. It’s a lot more random than I initially thought. To think that the forces of the universe take some hierarchical personal struggle is so egotistical. I looked at him and saw. There are no seven steps to ultimate awareness. There is no road to Nirvana. The universe doesn’t fucking care about your journey. It’s so egotistical to think that there is a perfect version of yourself – and that the tides of time are governed by the struggle between these two iterations of oneself. As I saw Jonny rocking, switching guitar for bass for piano for bass, it made me realize. You can have dysfunction but still exude genius. They are not mutually exclusive. The hierarchy I initially thought for awareness doesn’t fucking exist. It’s the fault of human beings to structure thought in lines and edges. Thought is a bubble that is so circular we struggle to understand its grasp. There is no right way there, is no wrong way. Everything permeates all the time. Your conscious experience of life is not governed by the artificial boundaries we create to feel safe. To make sense of this madness we are in. It finally became clear to me. Seeing Jonny almost nonchalant exuding a talent of a generation. It doesn’t matter if he has personal problems in his own life. That gift, to be able to transfer epic mountains of talent through song, overrides personal grievances. Theres no structure at all. It’s all fucking chaotic.